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Not coincidentally, these will be the same traits that will serve you best in a romantic partner."You are looking for not only character traits, but also ways of relating to you, and you to them.Look for what has worked in previous relationships," Lowe tells Web MD.White agrees: "In the end, it's often the people around whom you feel the most comfortable that possess the kind of traits you need for a lasting partnership." Looking inside yourself can help prepare you for a successful relationship, but eventually you must apply what you've discovered -- and begin seeking a partner."When it comes to our most important and lasting relationships, it's similar core values that becomes the glue that cements a couple together," Carle tells Web MD.While core values may form the foundation of who we are, our emotional needs often define the finer points of our relationships.Experts say we should look for clues in the good relationships we already have with friends and family members."Think about relationships you've had -- or currently have -- that bring out the best in you," says psychologist Dennis Lowe, Ph D, founding director of the Center for the Family at Pepperdine University in Los Angeles and a professor of psychology."Think about the relationships in which you have felt you could grow and the ones that left you feeling fulfilled.
Darnay says many such problems could be avoided, if we viewed new relationships like they were a new car -- starting with the "test drive" known as "dating." "At the early stages of any relationship you should be dating -- and that's dating, not sleeping with -- at least three or four different potential partners," says Darnay.
Indeed, when it comes to choosing a life partner, experts say too many of us remain clueless about what we really want and need -- one reason so few of us seem to find it!
"We go round and round, and we date and we date some more and we think, yes!
To put those demands on someone else is to set up yourself -- and the relationship -- for failure.
we go about finding the kind of person who can meet our emotional needs and share our core values?