Parent advice on teen dating
So be involved to the extent that both you and his father are beyond clear that you expect him to be respectful (in person, online, or while texting) toward anyone he dates. Most important is for him to see how his parents interact. Now you may be thinking, "No way I'm telling them what to allow under their roof." But you have to communicate your rules to other parents so you can present a united front. This doesn't seem like a great idea to me, but I don't want to forbid it. Your job is to make your son aware that his girlfriend may have trouble communicating her personal boundaries.
If you aren't showing him how people should respect each other in intimate relationships, it's hard to ask the same of him. My 16-year-old daughter spends a lot of time at her boyfriend's house. If they disagree with you, have a mature face-to-face conversation about it—before your kids have been caught doing something they shouldn't. Teach him to ask her questions and to listen to her responses, both verbal and nonverbal (because a girl may say something is "okay," while her tone indicates the opposite).
He'll need help coming up with an action plan. When my husband and I learned that our 15-year-old had sex with her boyfriend, we grounded her for a month with no computer or phone, and told her the relationship is over.
But I don't want to lose my daughter over this.
I just found out that his parents allow them to watch movies in his room with the door closed. This is also the time to have another dialogue with your daughter about sex. If you're concerned that your son fits the second scenario, be very clear with him that he will have to answer to you if he takes advantage of this girl. Start off with, "Maybe I'm seeing things the wrong way but I've noticed that you're hanging out with Mary.
A good resource: Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They'd Ask), by Justin Richardson, M. And also remind him that in some states he could be legally prosecuted for sexual activity with her. My 16-year-old son has a girlfriend, but he has been spending a lot of time with another girl whom he calls his "best friend." Do you think I should get involved? I love that you have strong friendships with girls but how does Anne feel about that? Don't worry about it." You say, "Well, it's normal to have strong feelings about two people at the same time, so if you want to discuss that, we can.
We'd like her at home but not if she's going to be a grumpy teenager. If you have a question of your own, e-mail [email protected] Circle.com, and your answer may appear in the magazine.
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Tell them that after this conversation you'll be contacting the other parents so everybody can be on the same page.Assuming she's not pregnant (she says they used condoms), what's the next step we should take? Reread Romeo and Juliet—because that's the dynamic you've just created.Please face the fact that your response didn't address the goals, which are to help your daughter develop into a sexually responsible adult and to have her boyfriend respect your values.If you have a question of your own, e-mail [email protected] Circle.com, and your answer may appear in the magazine. A teenager's first love is a powerful experience, but it's not an excuse to abandon his responsibilities.(Be sure to read How to Have the Sex Talk with Your Teen for more tips about how to make the conversation more relaxed and how to get your point across.) How to Have the Sex Talk with Your Teen How to Talk About Peer Pressure and Friendship Feuds with Your Teen Q. He spends all his free time with her, then is on the phone at least a couple hours at night, and that's not counting the IMing and text messaging. Set rules about phone and computer use and enforce them.